To Be Prepared

You never believe during depression that you will feel better. You’ll never again experience bright days. And it’s been around 3½ years with pain, downfalls, giving up and so much fighting. Fighting with others, fighting with myself, fighting to keep going and fighting to survive. But now… Right now I feel good. I think I’ve been happy for almost a week. Imagine that. I can look up into the world, nod and smile.
“I’m alright,” I think. But every now and then I remember the fear of falling back into the madness. Back to feeling abnormal and isolated from life. I want to be prepared, even if that is impossible. It’s just too strange being in this good state. Unreal… Yet I am smiling while writing this.