Hope Contagium

A therapy journal of self-obsession, depression and meaning.

Tag: kisses


Once in a while I remember her soft skin and our kisses. It’s a secret though, because it’s all in the past. It was a different intimacy than I’ve ever experienced with any other – with any men. It was so gentle and equal. Even if we fought like no other, were confused about it all, were frustrated and inexperienced, it was still special. Because it was so different, foreign, and new to us both. It built up from somewhere unknown – that was the beauty. Neither of us knew what we were doing. So many tears were spilled, so much spite thrown at the other… I still feel the specks of passion in us and the sense of affection towards her. I still look at her with curiosity and see her wonder.
Longing for a better ending, for a better now, frightful of our lost future, I do accept the turn of events. The whole memory is unclear; I’ve forgotten all the whys, hows, and whos. But I clearly remember that soft skin and her kiss.


I got a hug today. A nice, big, tight squeeze of a hug. Standing there, embraced by this other human-being, I was hit by surprised wonder… And then joy. Friendly, fancy kisses continued our encounter, a compliment flew through the air, and an agreement was made. The mood turned casual and we felt the earth beneath our feet.
But as we hugged during those happy seconds, as we were cheek to cheek… I could feel it. I had a friend. Someone who was happy to see my face on the other side of the elevator doors.

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