Hope Contagium

A therapy journal of self-obsession, depression and meaning.

Tag: hope

La Vie

So I drank two glasses of wine at a pub while listening to a discussion on tragedy. Then made my way home. As I waited for my train I bought a McDonald’s meal. But oh so laughed the universe at me: there were no seats in the train. So I had to eat my food crouching on my knees on the train floor. After I was finished, with my very unhealthy dinner, I had to entertain myself for the rest of the way home. So I sang songs out loud in the train (but quietly so only I could really hear me). First I sang of freedom, afterwards of goodness, followed by a song of love and finally songs of death. Throughout all this, I was still desperately hoping to see this one man’s face in front of me, all the way home.
La vie… Porquoi? Je ne sais pas.

Living Now

I’m so freakin’ happy. Crush my dreams tomorrow, but today I’m happy.


I felt sick. My body wanted to vomit this feeling out. I was looking for a false truth, hoping for dreams to come true. My lonely dreams. When clarity hit my face I felt sick to the bone. My throat was thick and feelings were pushing to get out. Now, I cry easily, so the stinging in my eyes was not news.┬áBut the sickness filled my body as a poison. Poisoned by my own mind, I had tricked myself as many times before. I am used to depression, but this wasn’t melancholy or sadness. I was hurt. I hurt myself… My confusion got the best of me. For the next minutes I suffered and then the hurt passed. It was a possessive feeling, reminding me of who I am.


Tragedy is a tool for the living to gain wisdom, not a guide by which to live.

It is not enough to understand, or to see clearly. The future will be shaped in the arena of human activity, by those willing to commit their minds and their bodies to the task.

Few will have the greatness to bend history itself, but each of us can work to change a small portion of events. It is from numberless diverse acts of courage and belief that human history is shaped. Each time a man stands up for an ideal, or acts to improve the lot of others, or strikes out against injustice, he sends forth a tiny ripple of hope, and crossing each other from a million different centers of energy and daring those ripples build a current which can sweep down the mightiest walls of oppression and resistance.

I believe that, as long as there is plenty, poverty is evil…

– Robert F. Kennedy (1925-1968)
American politician, democratic senator, civil rights activist

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