Depression always hits you after you’ve been soaring high. I was happy for about 24 hours (come and go), but after the excitement wore off so did the joy. I’m fine now, but it was devastating when I realized that this time I hadn’t prepared myself for a downfall. Usually I’m careful about being too happy, I know I’ll fall over, again, eventually. This time I forgot what was waiting ahead after the high. It’s like I’m permanently broken or dysfunctional; always having to pick myself up. Maybe I’m just scarred from my depression and the scar is too apparent to forget and ignore. Maybe i can’t handle the grays in life or maybe I simply want more than there is. Maybe enough time hasn’t passed. Or maybe, this is just me.