Take a Break
I finally understand what Andrew Solomon means when he writes: “I’m afraid of lamb chops again”.
The point is that there are some periods of time where you can’t do anything else than let the depression take over. Just let it be, endure it as long as it lasts and then you are ready to move on. Maybe depression breaks your brain and you need to hide away from life for a while in order to survive it. Or maybe the breakdown is a warning signal, to keep you away from the things that are bad for you.