I’m like my mother. It’s difficult for me to kiss and hug; physical affection – also mentally I’m blocked. Small things that upset people annoy me and it’s hard for me to comfort my little sister. As if I have to do something against my will. I just tell her to get over it… I, of all people, should know that these words won’t help her in any way. My mind and body shows how my mothers “affection” shaped me, so I have to do better.
My big sister knows how to have compassion, how to kiss, how to hug and hold someone. But I’m still petrified around my family – also my big sister. There are still family members I don’t wish to speak with. So I wonder if it will pass. When will I grow?